– Welcome one and all,
to a tale of despair, wherein the new technologies
all good folk must beware. – What be this then? – ‘Tis a new anthology play
about the dangers of technology. Ye Mirror Black. – Behold, our play the first. Being the tale of a young jack-a-nape who hath learned to read. – I’ve heard good things. (trumpet blowing) – Young shepard, why dost
thou not tend thine flock? – Why, the young shepard
hath put so much of his mind into this book that he
hath become but an object, and I hath become sentia. – Nooo! (laughing) (applause) – Be this even fiction? – That could happen, that
could totally happen. – Could happen? It hath happened. – Nay. – I never see youngins
without books in their hands. Never look up. Walking around. Whose to say they won’t
go crazy and kill someone. – Ay, obviously one
must lead to the other. – Oy. – There was never such
a tale of woe to now then Winn who hath replaced
his hoe with plows. (trumpet plays) – Yorgs. I have never seen such
a convenient implement such as this here plow. – You know I’ve been thinking about getting meself a plow. – Oh yeah. – Behold.
(squeals) Thine plow hath dug a hole onto hell! (gasps) (applause) – Oh now I shall never get a plow. – Oh no, me neither. You know I heard this one
was based on a true story. – I believe it. – Yeah, I believe it. I believe it could happen. The devil is everywhere. – We all do long for
greater ease of living. Yet laziness can lead to great misgiving. – Young archer why does thou
not practice at thine target? – Behold, I hath brought
my new technology. A crossbow. – Be that the same character
from the first one? – No it’s a new one each time. – Ooh, that’s fun. – Yeah. – Ah, I hath shot mine bolt, but it doth take too much time to reload. – Mmm. – Take mine longbow. (grunts) – Alas, I have become too
weak from the technology, and I cannot even hold it, and now I have the plague. – [Both] Noooo! (applause) – Strange twist indeed. – But who can tell from
whence the plague arrives? – Mmm, who indeed.
(blows nose) (trumpet plays) – Now be afeared ye
goodly sons and daughters for want of walking less
whilst fetching water. – Hark and behold, what
new technology be that? – ‘Tis my new yoke what lets me carry more water than before. – But if thou carries two buckets mustn’t then thou carry three than four than numbers greater still? – Mmm, well reasoned. That’s what me told my
neighbor, he got a yoke. – Yoke, the convenience of the yoke has made me forget the lord mine god. – And now there art more bucket than man, and we must storn thee
in the village square. – Noo! – Mm, that be my favorite one.
(applause) – That one? It’s so over the top. (clanking) – Well it be why I like it. – Oh, you know the town crier hath ranked them all from best to worst including the christ mast placed starring John the Hamm. – Oh, I love John the Hamm. – Me too, such a handsome man. All five teeth still there. – Wow. (applause and trumpet) – Well technology will
truly be the ruin of us all. – Well, I’m off to go bury me eighth son. Be you coming? – Nah, I’ve been to enough
funerals this morning. I think I’m going to go
cover myself in leeches. – All right. – Pamper yourself, you
know, that’s what you say. – Sure, self care.